Shopping with a Toddler

My daughter Nicole is two and a half years old.

Nicole is brutally honest. If you ask Nicole if she’s going to be bad, she will honestly answer you yes or no, and will act accordingly.

The other day

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. I needed to grab a head of romaine lettuce so we could have salad with dinner. Nicole was with me. I thought about putting Nicole in a cart, but it seemed like a bit of a hassle. Our conversation went like this:

“Nicole if I let you walk with Mommy will you promise to be a good girl?”

“Oh tay Momma. I walk.”

We entered the grocery store, and it was packed with people.

“Nicole, stay close to Momma please. There’s lots of people here today okay?”

“Oh tay momma.” At this point she was walking beside me.

I headed over towards the vegetables, and grabbed a head of lettuce, which was soaking wet. Much to my annoyance I struggled to get it in the bag. Then the unthinkable happened. I glanced down beside me and noticed Nicole was gone.


I looked up and scanned the area. Nicole was over towards the fruit. I watched her grab a nectarine and take a huge bite.


“Nicole Noooo! You can’t do that! We have to pay for that first before you eat it!

As I ran over Nicole spat a piece of the half chewed nectarine out onto the floor. She then proceeded to throw the half eaten nectarine back onto the pile of fruit. It landed perfectly high above her head.

I had no idea she had such a good arm.

Everyone stopped, and stared as Nicole rapidly scrapped her tongue with her fingers.

“Yuck, Yuuucky! It yucky Momma!

Nicole spat out more chunks. She stuck her tongue out as far as it would go while continually taking her fingers and scrapping.

Gross me out.

“Nicole what are talking about? You eat these at Patti’s all the time!” Patti is her babysitter.

I grabbed the half eaten nectarine in disgust, and put it in a produce bag.

“Now we have to pay for this.”

I showed her the nectarine.

“Pththth puuu puuu pththth.”

She spat out another piece.

An old man beside us decided to put his nectarines back on the pile, as do a few other people in the general vicinity. The produce manager noticed this and came over. He assured everyone the nectarines are of the highest quality and taste.

“Yuuuuucky! Momma yucky! Pthth! Pthth!”

“Nicole stop spitting please, it’s rude.”

I rummaged through my purse and managed to locate the tissue. I wiped her face and hands, and then proceeded to pick up the bits of nectarine off the floor.


I glanced at the produce manager who came over, and I apologized for Nicole’s behaviour.

Cue the pissed off old Polish women.

“No, No, I no think they good!”

The older polish lady is wearing a babushka on her head. She waved her nectarines in front of the produce managers’ face.

“I assure you the nectarines are just fine.” The produce manager tried to defuse the situation.

“Look at baby? Baby say no good!”

The older polish lady gruffly threw her nectarines into his chest, it momentarily knocked the wind out of him. She then headed towards the bakery department in disgust, while mumbling something in Polish.

A few minutes passed before people stopped staring and continue their shopping. I continued my shopping in humiliation, as Nicole continued to spit and scrape her tongue while saying “Yucky.”

I’m beginning to think I have a drama queen.

I checked out, and we headed home.

A few days passed, and I realized I had forgotten the eggs. This time I headed back to the grocery store ALONE.

I walked through the produce department on my way to the dairy department, and I noticed the nectarines were half price.nectarines on sale

Coincidence? Probably. Either that or I guess the word gets around fast.

For the record the nectarine was sour.




My Suburban Zoo